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Something something convert something

I’m sleepy because it’s Wednesday and I just ate too much junk food, but I am writing anyway, because that’s how much I love you, Internet.

I have an actual official meeting with a rabbi now and everything. There’s even a time! And a place! And the time is next Tuesday at 11 AM and I have no idea how I’m going to get there given that I don’t drive. I think we’ll go with either a) bum a ride of someone, possibly a member of my family, or b) The Bus.

I just don’t understand how The Bus works outside of the actual city. In the suburbs the stops are all small and confusing and not covered or anything and I can never tell which side of the street is eastbound because what, are we carrying compasses with us now? And it would be just like me to show up to the meeting with the rabbi all, “YES PLEASE CONVERT ME TO YOUR RELIGION I AM TOTALLY SERIOUS SO SERIOUS IN FACT THAT I AM AN HOUR LATE BECAUSE I MISSED THE BUS AND FELL IN A PUDDLE, SORRY.” And then I would drop some stuff and probably fart.

Sometimes my charm amazes even me.

So anyway, this is the Conservative rabbi that I’m meeting on Tuesday, because the Reconstructionist rabbi never got back to me and the Reform movement reminds me of Methodists and Orthodox rabbis are scaring and I don’t want to be made to stop touching people in order to convert. I’m pretty excited. My sources inform me that he’s a good guy and I’ll like him a lot. Apparently his sermons are sort of congregation-interactive. That sounds like a healthy philosophy.

Also I was reassured to discover that at this synagogue there is already a system in place for converts, so it does not look like they are going to turn me away on the basis of “You look funny” or anything. There is a class at the college of Judaic studies I’m supposed to enroll in, which is worrisome because I’m a few weeks late, but oh well. Either way I’m pretty excited. Progress!

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One comment on “Something something convert something

  1. YOU ARE THE MOST AWESOMEST PERSON EVER AND I REALLY HOPE YOU HAVE A BAT MITZVAH BECAUSE I ONLY GOT TO GO TO TWO AND THEY WERE LAME AND I WANT TO PRETEND I’M IN 7TH GRADE AGAIN EVEN THOUGH 7TH GRADE SUCKED WHY AM I YELLING AT YOU IT IS OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

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