Well, not exactly fail. But the liberal conversion class that I finally decided to sign up for because I would really, really like to get this process moving?
Canceled due to lack of interest! Yay!
So that sucks. No spring ’12 conversion class for Cae (that’s me, in case I do not have it listed anywhere, idk how to internet, you guys), no formalized structure for learning, and a general delay in the whole deal. It was pretty demoralizing for about five hours of feeling like I was denied and unwanted by the Jewish community.
And then I got a call from my major adviser, who is Orthodox, telling me that she talked to a rabbi, who would love to talk to me about converting Orthodox, and that her friends the Fleischmans would love to have me over for Shabbat dinner and then shul in the morning. Synchronicity? An act of God? I don’t know. But it looks like the longer I stay in this process the closer the winds of change are buffeting me toward Orthodoxy.
Though hell if I know what that metaphor was about.
From what I’ve read about the Orthodox process, I think it would fit me better. I’d like to be studying in depth with a rabbi. I’d like to be taking on mitzvot. I’m still not sure how I feel about Torah mi-Sinai and whatnot, but I do feel like if I’m to join this people, it seems right to do so in as complete a way as possible. To put it simply, I like doing things the hard way. That’s basically what this would be, I guess. It reminds me of what my Hebrew professor told me when I told him I was considering conversion, before subsequently never speaking about it again.
“You can do it the easy way, or you can do it the right way,” he said. “You should not do it the easy way.”
I don’t believe in cutting corners. I’m not criticizing the validity of liberal conversions here–religion is in many ways a social construct, so if you would like to be accepted as a Jew by liberal denominations than a liberal conversion is the way to do that. It’s just that I am, in my heart, an academic, and I feel like the Orthodox conversion process likes that about me. And it’s nice to be liked.
We’ll see how talking to that rabbi goes. But as yet… things are looking up.